The Power of Questioning

It’s been a while since I questioned my little boy who will turn six coming June. I have been busy confronting something else in life and have not been engaging my child in a way so I provide him a climate to inquire. Today, he looked so bored and I suddenly asked him, “What is happiness?” He promptly replied. “Happiness is cool weather”. It is summer here where we live; the hot and humid temperature probably reminded him of the happiness that he gets being in a cool weather. It was amazing for me to observe how one can name their emotions when powerful questioning happens.

With further brainstorming, we figured out how hot weather makes him so irritated and how he does not like it and that is the reason why he is so dull and bored. It was a relief for him to acknowledge the emotions that he was going through at that time. After a while I told him, “Happiness for me is having you as my baby”. He felt good listening to that and then, he started to play the inquiry game and here is what he came up with.

Happiness is buying trucks.
Happiness is drawing a picture of a bus.
Happiness is to be with Appa (his father).
Happiness is to learn with Amma (mother).
Happiness is to play with Anna (his cousin brother).
Happiness is to have fun with Akka (his cousin sister).

He said he would journal this in his weekly journal log. I was amazed at how children can actually inquire and name their emotions.

One of the effective ways to develop emotional intelligence is to help people name their emotions. Declaration has so much power, it keeps multiplying. I noticed how I expanded the declaration that I made that happiness for me is having him as my baby. I started to explore this further into what that means for me. Within moments I started playing catch and throw with him which I never do generally. For me, it is so hard to have fun. I realized how much happiness I get by playing with him which is much more than just having him because here, the happiness shifts from ‘me’ to ‘him’, creating an environment for him to have fun. It is about contribution, sharing, connection, relation, and expression. The inquiry game and the fun continued through out the day. It all started with a simple and powerful question, “What is happiness?”

So, what is happiness for you?
Prabha

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Prabha Sathyanarayanan is a life coach and L&D consultant who work with adults and children.

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